WHY BPD AND NPD ATTRACT
WHY BPD AND NPD ATTRACT
A Tale of Two Disorders
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are two distinct mental illnesses that share some striking similarities. Both disorders are characterized by a pattern of unstable relationships, impulsive behavior, and a distorted sense of self. These similarities can create a powerful attraction between individuals with BPD and NPD.
The BPD-NPD Dynamic
People with BPD often experience intense emotions, including anger, sadness, and emptiness. They may also have difficulty controlling their impulses and may engage in self-destructive behaviors, such as cutting or substance abuse. People with NPD, on the other hand, have an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
Despite their differences, people with BPD and NPD can be drawn to each other like moths to a flame. The intensity of the BPD individual's emotions can be intoxicating to the NPD individual, who craves attention and admiration. The BPD individual, in turn, may be drawn to the NPD individual's confidence and sense of power.
The Idealization-Devaluation Cycle
The relationship between a person with BPD and a person with NPD is often characterized by an idealization-devaluation cycle. In the idealization phase, the BPD individual places the NPD individual on a pedestal, seeing them as perfect and flawless. The NPD individual, in turn, enjoys the attention and admiration of the BPD individual.
However, the idealization phase is often short-lived. As the BPD individual gets to know the NPD individual better, they may start to see their flaws. The BPD individual may become critical of the NPD individual, and the NPD individual may become defensive and angry. This can lead to a devaluation phase, in which the BPD individual sees the NPD individual as worthless and contemptible.
The Push-Pull Dynamic
The idealization-devaluation cycle can create a push-pull dynamic in the relationship between a person with BPD and a person with NPD. The BPD individual may push the NPD individual away with their criticism and anger, but then pull them back with their need for attention and approval. The NPD individual, in turn, may enjoy the challenge of trying to control the BPD individual, but may also find their emotional intensity overwhelming.
The Challenges of a BPD-NPD Relationship
Relationships between people with BPD and NPD are often tumultuous and difficult. The idealization-devaluation cycle and the push-pull dynamic can lead to constant conflict and instability. Both partners may experience intense emotions, such as anger, sadness, and jealousy. They may also have difficulty communicating and resolving conflict.
Seeking Help
If you are in a relationship with someone who has BPD or NPD, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you to understand the dynamics of your relationship and develop strategies for coping with the challenges. Therapy can also help you to learn how to communicate more effectively and resolve conflict in a healthy way.
Conclusion
BPD and NPD are two complex mental illnesses that can make it difficult for individuals to form and maintain healthy relationships. However, with professional help, it is possible for people with BPD and NPD to learn how to manage their symptoms and build strong, lasting relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What are the similarities between BPD and NPD?
BPD and NPD share some striking similarities, including a pattern of unstable relationships, impulsive behavior, and a distorted sense of self.
2. How can BPD and NPD individuals be drawn to each other?
The intensity of the BPD individual’s emotions can be intoxicating to the NPD individual, who craves attention and admiration. The BPD individual, in turn, may be drawn to the NPD individual’s confidence and sense of power.
3. What is the idealization-devaluation cycle?
The idealization-devaluation cycle is a pattern of behavior in which one person idealizes another person, only to later devalue them. This cycle can be very destructive in relationships, as it can lead to constant conflict and instability.
4. What is the push-pull dynamic?
The push-pull dynamic is a pattern of behavior in which one person pushes another person away, only to later pull them back. This dynamic can be very frustrating and confusing for both partners.
5. What are the challenges of a BPD-NPD relationship?
Relationships between people with BPD and NPD are often tumultuous and difficult. The idealization-devaluation cycle and the push-pull dynamic can lead to constant conflict and instability. Both partners may experience intense emotions, such as anger, sadness, and jealousy. They may also have difficulty communicating and resolving conflict.
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